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Honour Based Abuse and Forced Marriage

If you are worried about someone seeing that you have visited this page, visit the Woman’s Aid website through this link to tell you how to cover your tracks online.

If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you can’t speak and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. 

If you have a hearing or speech impairment, use our the textphone service 18000 or text 999 if you’ve pre-registered with the emergencySMS service.

If you are feeling suicidal or need mental health support, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 or text Shout on 85258.

Forced Marriage

What is forced marriage? 

Forced marriage is where someone faces physical, sexual, emotional or psychological pressure to marry and may or may not be made to feel like they are bringing shame on their family. If someone is under 18, any marriage is considered a forced marriage even if there is no pressure involved. 

Forced marriage is illegal in the UK. The laws include taking someone overseas to force them to marry, even if the marriage does not take place, arranging a marriage for someone who lacks mental capacity (with or without pressure) or arranging a marriage for someone before they turn 18. Forcing someone to marry can result in a sentence of up to 7 years in prison. 

What help is there to stop a marriage?

A Forced Marriage Protection Order can be requested from court. Each order is unique and designed to protect the person according to their individual circumstances. For example, the court may order a passport be handed over or reveal where someone is. In emergency situations, an order can be made for immediate protection. Disobeying these orders can result in a sentence of up to 5 years in prison. 

Where to get help:

If you are trying to stop a forced marriage, need help leaving a marriage you have been forced into or you think you are about to be taken abroad to get married against your will, you can get help from the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU). You can contact them by email at fmu@fcdo.gov.uk or phone 020 7008 0151 Monday to Friday 9am-5pm. To call outside of these hours 020 7008 0151. To call from overseas use the international dialling code +44.

In an emergency, always call 999. They can give you advice from a trained professional, find a safe place to stay and even stop a UK visa if you’ve been forced to sponsor someone. If you are already abroad, contact the nearest British embassy. 

If someone you know has been taken abroad to be forced to get married, contact the Forced Marriage Unit. Give as many details as you can such as, where the person has gone, when they were due back and when you last heard from them. The FMU will contact the relevant embassy and if they are a British national, the embassy will help them get back to the UK if that is what they want.

Honour Based Abuse

What is honour based abuse?

Honour based abuse can include physical, emotional, financial or technological abuse, forced marriage, threats, isolation, not being allowed access to important documents like your passport or birth certificate and controlling and coercive behaviour. 

It is not a cultural or religious practice, rather, a form of abuse that can occur within any community, any faith and any background. It is built on expectations about what behaviour is considered acceptable or unacceptable and multiple people or family members may contribute to the control and abuse. 

You have the right to make your own decisions about your body, beliefs and life. 

Is honour based abuse happening to me?

Have you been threatened or abused or felt threatened, abused or unsafe regarding:

  • having a relationship or marrying someone outside your community 

  • having a relationship with someone within your community that your family don't approve of

  • separation or divorce

  • talking to certain people

  • your virginity, including ‘virginity testing’

  • have sex before marriage

  • being pressured to marry young or marry someone you didn’t choose

  • Your sexuality

  • becoming pregnant or giving birth outside of marriage

  • wearing clothes or make up your family or community think are inappropriate

  • using drugs or alcohol

  • accessing higher education 

  • being too ‘westernised’

  • female genital mutilation (even if you gave your consent)

  • challenging what your family or community expect of you

  • disagreeing with the religion of your family or community

Signs to look for if you suspect abuse 

Signs include but are not limited to: 

  • Sudden withdrawal or isolation from friends, school, or work

  • Restrictions on their freedom, such as not being allowed to leave the house without supervision

  • Intense family pressure 

  • Talk of a forced marriage in the UK or abroad 

  • Unexplained injuries or signs of physical harm

  • Extreme control over their social life, finances, or education

  • Fearful behaviour, particularly around family members

  • Family history of relatives going missing 

  • Depression, self harming or attempted suicide

  • unexplained absence or poor performance at school or work

How to help someone suffering from honour based abuse

  • Listen without judgment and create a safe space where the person feels they can talk openly

  • Don’t confront their family as this may increase any danger for the individual

  • Always act discreetly

  • Tell them about the kinds of help available 

  • Encourage them to seek professional help

  • Give them helplines written down if it is safe to do so

  • Respect their choices and their autonomy

  • Gather information that might be useful later, such as details of family pressures or threats, where they are going if they are going abroad etc without putting the person at risk or any pressure on them to tell you. 

  • Seek information and guidance for yourself to help them better

Where to get help: 

For confidential advice, help and support to Black and Minoritised Women and girls there is Halo who you can call 01642 683045 (available Monday to Friday 9am-5pm) and email info@haloproject.org.uk. They can search for safe accommodation, outreach support, help with safety planning and ongoing support to those at risk of harm and abuse.

If you need help with honour based abuse, you can also call Karma Nirvana on 0800 5999 247 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) or email through their contact us page. They can also help in English, Urdu, Hindi and Punjabi. 

If you feel at risk of forced marriage, call 020 7008 0151 to speak to the Forced Marriage Unit. You can contact them by email at fmu@fcdo.gov.uk or phone 020 7008 0151 Monday to Friday 9am-5pm. To call outside of these hours 020 7008 0151. To call from overseas use the international dialling code +44

FGM, Hymenoplasty and Virginity Testing

If you need support from trained professional to help victims of all dishonour abuse and friends who are seeking help, advice and support please contact the Freedom Charity by phone 08456070133 (available 24/7) or text the words 4freedom: to 88802. You can also contact Karma Nirvana on 0800 5999 247 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) or email through their contact us page.

If you think any of these is about to happen to you or someone else, call 999. If you cannot speak, and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. 

What is FGM?

Female genital mutilation (sometimes referred to as female circumcision or cutting) is a procedure that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs. There are no medical reasons to carry out FGM. It is often performed by someone with no medical training using instruments such as knives, scalpels, scissors, glass or razor blades. Anaesthetic and antiseptic treatment is rarely given and they are often forcibly restrained. 

It can happen at different times in women and girls lives including when on a newborn baby, during childhood, as a teenager, just before marriage and during pregnant. 

for non-medical reasons. It has no medical benefits, causes severe pain and has several immediate and long-term health consequences.

In the UK, it is an offence to perform an FGM, take a child abroad for FGM, help a girl perform FGM on herself in or outside the UK, help anyone perform FGM in the UK, help anyone perform FGM outside the UK on a UK national or resident or fail to protect a girl for whom you're responsible from FGM.

Female genital mutilation is classified into 4 major types:

Type 1: This is the partial or total removal of the clitoral glans (the external and visible part of the clitoris, which is a sensitive part of the female genitals), and/or the prepuce/clitoral hood (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoral glans).

Type 2: This is the partial or total removal of the clitoral glans and the labia minora (the inner folds of the vulva), with or without removal of the labia majora (the outer folds of skin of the vulva).

Type 3: Also known as infibulation, this is the narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the labia minora, or labia majora, sometimes through stitching, with or without removal of the clitoral prepuce/clitoral hood and glans.

Type 4: This includes all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g., pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

Effects of FGM

There are no health benefits and can cause serious harm and side effects. Those having undergone FGM may suffer serious harm including:

  • severe and constant pain

  • infections such as tetanus, hepatitis B and C, HIV and sepsis

  • Pain or difficulty having sex

  • Infertility 

  • Bleeding, cysts or abscesses

  • Difficulties urinating or incontinence

  • Organ damage

  • Problems during pregnancy and childbirth which may be life threatening 

  • Mental health problems including depression and flashbacks

  • Death from blood loss and infection

Reporting FGM 

If you are worried about child under 18 or know of a child under 18 who has undergone FGM, you must report this to social care and/or the police. Other girls and women who may be related to or living with an individual with FGM may also be at significant risk of harm.

If there is an imminent risk of FGM happening, you must call 999 immediately. If they are already abroad, contact the Foreign and Commonwealth Office on 020 7008 1500. If you are abroad and at risk, contact the nearest British embassy, commission or consulate. 

You can contact the NSPCC FGM helpline if suspect a risk by calling 0800 028 3550 (available Monday for Friday 8am-8pm and weekends 9am-6pm) or emailing fgmhelp@nspcc.org.uk.

Hymenoplasty and virginity testing

The government has made it illegal to do, offer to or help to carry out virginity testing or hymenoplasty in any part of the UK or for UK nationals and residents to do outside of the UK. Women and girls may be coerced, pressurised, shamed or forced into undergoing these procedures by family, community or intended husband’s families to supposedly uphold honour and check if a woman is ‘pure’ before marriage. 

Women who ‘fail’ a virginity test, undergo hymen reconstruction or do not bleed on their wedding night may experience further honour based abuse, disownment and even honour killings.  A hymen is not reliable information on whether or not sexual intercourse may have taken place. 

These practices are degrading and intrusive and can lead to psychological trauma leading to conditions including anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder and even suicide. They can also be physically harmful potentially resulting in damage to the hymen, tears and damage to the vaginal wall, bleeding and infection. Hymenoplasty can also cause bleeding during the procedure, scarring and narrowing of the opening of the vagina causing sexual and reproductive difficulties. 

What is virginity testing?

Virginity testing is any examination of the female genitalia to check if vaginal intercourse has taken place. There may be contact or no contact and consent may or may not have been given. The standpoint of leading organisations including World Health Organisation and the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists is that virginity tests have no scientific merit and there is no known examination that can prove whether a woman has had vaginal intercourse. Virginity testing is illegal. 

What is a hymenoplasty?

This is a procedure to reconstruct a hymen. There are a number of different techniques to achieve this but may involve stitching hymenal remnants together at the vaginal opening, or surgically reconstructing a hymen using vaginal tissue. The aim is to ensure a woman bleeds when she has intercourse the first time after the procedure as it is believed to be a sign of virginity. Medically, there is no guarantee this will reform the hymen and no guarantee it will cause bleeding with intercourse. This is not the same as other procedures performed for legitimate medical reasons. 

Quick Links

Register for text services with 999: Contact 999 with relay

Support for Black and Minoritised women and girls: Halo

Dishonour abuse: Freedom Charity 

England and Wales: Refuge National Domestic Abuse, Refuge and Women’s Aid

Scotland: Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage

Northern Ireland: Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline 

LGBTQIA+: Galop 

Suicide Helpline: 116 123 Samaritans 

Concerns for a child: NSPCC

Covering your tracks: Women’s Aid Guide

Forced marriage and honour based abuse: Karma Nirvana and Forced Marriage Unit

General advice and help for money, housing and other problems: Citizens Advice

Digital help to protect your privacy: Refuge and Avast Help Tool

Anonymously report a crime: Crimestoppers

One to one support and access to specialist services: Forward UK

FGM: NSPCC 

Middle East, North Africa and Afghanistan women living in the UK: IKWRO

Extra Resources

CONTACT 

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